The truth…nothing but the truth

Published 9:19 am Thursday, November 15, 2018

As I typically do on most Sunday afternoons, I sat staring blankly at the screen on my laptop, attempting to come up with some wise words of wisdom that make their way into this weekly space.

But, alas, nothing would come immediately to mind.

Just as I was trying to put some thoughts together of what was to be a politically-based column, a notion struck me to stop.

While I was thrilled to see a massive turnout of voters – locally, statewide and nationally, taking part in helping to shape the political landscape for the next few years, I opted to simply leave this always emotionally-charged debate alone at this point.

Checking my email, I stumbled across something sent to me from a friend entitled, “Truths for Mature Humans”….which is shared below:

The part of a best friend’s job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

Nothing sucks more than the precise moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong.

I totally take back all those times I didn’t want to nap when I was younger.

There is huge need for a sarcasm font.

How the heck are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

Map Quest really needs to start their directions on #5. I’m pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t at least kind of tired.

Bad decisions make good stories.

You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren’t going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.

I’m always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.

I keep some people’s phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than with Kay.

I wish Google Maps had an “Avoid Backwoods” routing option.

I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

How many times is it appropriate to say “What?” before you just nod and smile because you still didn’t hear or understand a word they said?

I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!

Sometimes I’ll look at my cellphone three consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, or Pinning the Tail on the Donkey – but I’d bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from three feet away…in about 1.7 seconds with their eyes closed….first time, every time!

The first testicular guard, the “Cup,” was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important.


Cal Bryant is Editor of Roanoke-Chowan Publications. Contact him at or 252-332-7207.

About Cal Bryant

Cal Bryant, a 40-year veteran of the newspaper industry, serves as the Editor at Roanoke-Chowan Publications, publishers of the Roanoke-Chowan News-Herald, Gates County Index, and Front Porch Living magazine.

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