Time flies like an arrow…

Published 3:18 pm Thursday, June 14, 2018

Some people think puns are corny and dumb. But I am not one of those people. Almost nothing makes me laugh harder than a joke containing a pun, but that’s because I’ve always been a big fan of wordplay and the way we can twist our language into something new every day.

That’s the thing which makes English simultaneously so fun and frustrating, right? Words can have multiple meanings. They can be spelled differently but still sound exactly the same. There are endless possibilities. Our language is like a complex jigsaw puzzle, except we’re missing some pieces and we’re constantly trying to hammer the remaining ones into empty spaces regardless of whether they actually fit.

Of course, English isn’t the only language which gets to have fun with puns. Japanese puns are extremely entertaining because there are plenty of words which are pronounced the same but have completely different meanings. “Hana,” for example, means both “flower” or “nose” depending on how you write it. Imagine all the jokes you can possibly make with that!

But let’s return back to English puns. You may be wondering perhaps if I have a point I’m trying to make this week, with some sort of deeper meaning to draw out of all this pun talk.

Nope, I really don’t. I just think puns are fun, and we probably all need some fun in our lives every now and then. So why not share the pun fun? Please enjoy chuckling or cringing, depending on how lame the jokes are! I’m actually terrible at writing puns myself, so here are some I found browsing the internet:

“How do you get a baby alien to sleep? You rocket.”

“I love you from my head tomatoes.”

“If you’ve been thinking about singing karaoke with a friend, just duet!”

“I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.”

“My ex-wife still misses me. But her aim is starting to improve.”

“My girlfriend thought I’d never be able to make a car out of spaghetti… you should’ve seen her face when I drove pasta!”

“What’s the tallest building in the city? The library! Because it has the most stories.”

“You’re living, you occupy space, and you have mass. You know what that means? You matter.”

“What do you call a snobbish criminal going down the stairs? A condescending con descending.”

“Whiteboards are remarkable!”

“If you put a picture of yourself in a locket, you could say you are… independent.”

“The man was absolutely delighted when he discovered someone had stolen every lamp in his house.”

“I want to be cheesy but everyone here is laughtose intolerant.”

“That farmer is outstanding in his field.”

“A bicycle can’t stand on its own because it’s two tired.”

“You can tune a guitar, but you can’t tuna fish. Unless, of course, you play bass.” (this one is credited to author Douglas Adams)

And here’s my favorite pun of all: “time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana.”


Holly Taylor is a Staff Writer for Roanoke-Chowan Publications. Contact her at holly.taylor@r-cnews.com or by phone at 252-332-7206.