Someone turned-up the testosterone

Published 10:48 am Tuesday, January 31, 2017

Despite all the protests, Donald J. Trump is the President of the United States of America.

I, for one, like that outside the typical political reasons. For that matter, I favored Obama’s two terms in the White House for reasons that you may think as odd from this Conservative Christian male.

During Obama’s bid for a second term and as well as for Trump’s surge towards the highest office in the land, both men were challenged by a female – Hillary Rodham Clinton.

All I could think of on both occasions is if this woman made history and became the first female to occupy the Oval Office (other than Monica Lewinsky and possibly Marilyn Monroe), were we in store for pink curtains and scented candles?

As males, we needed someone turn-up the testosterone; so thank goodness for Obama and now Mr. Trump.

Listed below are my reasons why men make better politicians:

When it comes to writing legislation concerning the automotive industry, we know more stuff about cars.

We don’t have to busy ourselves fussing over what are colleagues are wearing nor do we concern ourselves over how much weight someone has gained or lost.

In the White House breakroom, we can open our own jars.

We don’t have to lug a bag of useless stuff around everywhere we go.

We can go to the bathroom without a support group.

We can leave a bed unmade.

We can be showered and ready to enact important laws in 10 minutes.

We don’t have to shave below our necks.

If the power goes out in Washington, DC in the dead of winter, we can step outside and write important legislation in the snow.

If we have to step on a few toes to muscle through an important bill, we don’t care about other people’s feelings.

Decision on what to wear in the morning….we don’t worry because we think three pair of shoes are more than enough.

We can whip off our shirts on a hot day.

We don’t give a rat’s behind if someone doesn’t notice our new haircut.

This one’s very important, especially in politics – one mood, all the time.

We can sit around the floor of the House or the Senate, or even in the Oval Office, with our knees apart no matter what we are wearing.

As male politicians, we think gray hair and wrinkles add character.

In the world of lawmaking, it’s all about concentration. Lobbyists will never stare at our chest when we’re talking to them.

We can proudly walk the halls of Congress because new shoes don’t cut, blister or mangle our feet.

We don’t have to kill time remembering our colleagues’ birthdays and anniversaries.

Fashion doesn’t determine worth:  Men can wear two shades of red–with any shoes.  Women must wear colors that go together, fabrics that go together, the colors have to go with their complexion, their makeup, their current hair color, their shoes, their purse, etc.

Then there’s the woman’s version of English we are faced with. We all know that when a woman says yes, she really means no. When she says I’m sorry, she means you’ll be sorry. When she says we need something, she really means she needs something. How can political business be discussed using this line of thinking?

Guys, the way I see it, we can all blame our troubles on what unfolded centuries ago in the Garden of Eden.

There, God told his very first creation, Adam, that he thought it was a good idea to make him a companion.

“She will be at your beckon call 24 hours a day, seven days a week and 365 days a year,” said the Lord. “She’ll handle all the cooking, cleaning and bear and raise your children. When you come home tired from a long day’s work, she’ll be there to offer comfort and compassion.”

Adam, being a smart guy, asked God what would all this cost?

“An arm and a leg,” answered the Lord.

“What can I get for a rib,” Adam inquired.

For the answer, see the rest of history, including the current day and age.

Cal Bryant is the Editor of Roanoke-Chowan Publications. Contact him at or 252-332-7207.

About Cal Bryant

Cal Bryant, a 40-year veteran of the newspaper industry, serves as the Editor at Roanoke-Chowan Publications, publishers of the Roanoke-Chowan News-Herald, Gates County Index, and Front Porch Living magazine.

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