Filthy rich and hanging with ‘The Donald’

Published 1:14 pm Thursday, January 14, 2016

As I’m writing this President Obama has not yet given his final State of the Union address, the Republicans have not given their response, and the Powerball lottery winning numbers have not been drawn.

I’m looking forward to all of those things because Obama is finally going to give the obstructionist Congress a good talking to and the Republicans are going to blame Obama for all the ills of the world and make some up just because they can thanks to the First Amendment that says every American can say whatever whopper they can dream up.

For example, they claim Obama is the reason the economy imploded, even though Obama hadn’t been elected president when it did. He’s to blame for all the gun deaths in the United States because he hasn’t given every man, woman, and child their own personal assault weapon. He’s the reason al Qaeda exists because he didn’t “hit ‘em hard” when he was an Illinois State Senator. He’s a Kenyan, Muslim terrorist bent on the destruction of truth, justice, and the American way (sorry, Superman, but you are an illegal immigrant).

I find it entertaining that Donald Trump has transferred his concern about Obama being a Muslim secret agent who claimed to be an American for almost 50 years so he could be elected president and hand the country over to his Kenyan overlords, to Ted (Rafael) Cruz.

Masterfully done, Mr. Trump. He didn’t come right out and accuse Cruz of being an illegal Cuban immigrant who came into the U.S. through Canada. He just insinuated that the evil Democrats might do that dirty deed if Rafael didn’t get a judge to rule him a real American.

Great stuff. I’m sorry to all you supporters, but Trump is a hoot.

He has said some things that prove he’s a racist; has no respect for Constitutional law; and would rather have a brutal dictator for “president” than a small “d” democrat (note his resent approval North Korean demigod Kim Jong-Un for his handling of those who oppose him – murder and the murder of the person’s family and friends).

But give the man some credit, he’s amusing. He’ll cut his opponents to the bone and happily destroy their reputations and employment prospects, but he’s does it with a twinkle in his eyes. He makes the utter destruction of others fun.

I’ll soon be hanging with him up there in the penthouse of Trump Towers, so I’d better be nice.

The Powerball winner hasn’t been revealed yet, but I have no doubt that I’ll be the nation’s next billionaire when the balls drop.

Sorry to not be here for you today, but I’ve got places to go and absolutely nothing to do since becoming filthy rich last night.

Let’s see…$1.5 billion, you would think, would last for a few years. But that darned gov’ment is taking about half of it. I’ll only get about $900 million after taxes.

I guess I’ll have to become an ultra-conservative Republican.

My new best buddy, The Donald, can give me advice on how best to screw over everybody else while I enrich myself.


Keith Hoggard is a Staff Writer at Roanoke-Chowan Publications. He can be contacted at or 252-332-7206.