Leave it to Bobby “Keys” Eure for bailing me out of a tight spot.

As I sat down behind my keyboard on Sunday afternoon – bored of watching my Miami Dolphins being pummeled by the Baltimore Ravens – I had just typed the first few words of what was to be a politically-based column when the notion struck me to stop.

While I was thrilled to see the majority of voters, both in our state and nationally, making what I believe were the best choices for leadership, I opted to simply leave this always emotionally-charged debate alone at this point.

That left me without a column topic, but good, old Bobby came to my rescue with his well-timed e-mail “Truths for Mature Humans”….which is shared below:

The part of a best friend’s job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

Nothing sucks more than the precise moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong.

I totally take back all those times I didn’t want to nap when I was younger.

There is huge need for a sarcasm font.

How the heck are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

Was learning cursive really necessary?

Map Quest really needs to start their directions on #5. I’m pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t at least kind of tired.

Bad decisions make good stories.

You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren’t going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.

Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don’t want to have to restart my collection…again.

I’m always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.

I keep some people’s phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.

I wish Google Maps had an “Avoid Ghetto” routing option.

I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

How many times is it appropriate to say “What?” before you just nod and smile because you still didn’t hear or understand a word they said?

I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!

Sometimes I’ll look down at my watch three consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey –  but I’d bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from three feet away…in about 1.7 seconds with their eyes closed….first time, every time!

The first testicular guard, the “Cup,” was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important.

Cal Bryant is Editor of the Roanoke-Chowan News-Herald and Gates County Index. He can be reached at cal.bryant@r-cnews.com or 252-332-7207.