News of the dumb, dumber, dumbest

Published 9:33 am Tuesday, September 1, 2009

News…it happens every second of every hour of every day.

It’s the job of folks at newspapers, radio stations and the talking heads on TV to give you the facts as they are presented to journalists.

Locally, we report on what our county commissioners, town council members and boards of education are up to. We also report crime news and pen feature articles about the people and groups who attempt to make a difference in the lives of others.

Weird news seems to dodge this area. Once, just once, I would like to report on an oddball story…perhaps like one of these I found while surfing the Net:

From WXYZ, Action News 7 in Detroit: In 2007, Scott Thomas Zeilinski robbed a Michigan store at knifepoint. He threatened to kill several employees while holding the weapon to their throats. As he was fleeing, an employee shot him in the arm and back. And now, Zeilinski, who is serving 8 to 22 years in jail for the crime, is suing that same store to pay him more than $125,000 for his pain, suffering and emotional distress.

From the Orlando (Fla.) Sentinel: The Federal Aviation Administration is investigating a helicopter ride that a central Florida father arranged for his teenager’s first day of school. According to a Lake County Sheriff’s Office report, Bart Sutherin flew his 14-year-old son, Joseph, to his first day of classes at East Ridge High School in a rented blue-and-white Hughes 300 helicopter, landing it safely behind some portable classrooms on the east side of the campus. However, he didn’t clear the flight with the Lake County school district officials and sheriff’s office first. Sutherin told officials that he wanted to “make a positive impression on the other students” on his son’s first day of ninth grade.

According to The Daily Tribune of Royal Oak, Michigan, police say a first date went from bad to worse when a Detroit man skipped out on the restaurant bill, then stole his date’s car. Police say Terrance Dejuan McCoy, 23, had dinner with a 27-year-old woman at Buffalo Wild Wings. The woman told police McCoy said he left his wallet in her car and asked for her keys. He then sped away in the 2000 Chevrolet Impala. Police identified McCoy using a photo he earlier sent to the woman’s cell phone, as well as his phone number.

And finally this from An umpire emptied the stands at a high school baseball game in Iowa, ejecting the entire crowd of more than 100 fans for being unruly. Umpire Don Briggs said he had no problem with any of the student athletes during a game between Winfield-Mount Union and West Burlington. He said he had to take action because fans were being unruly, yelling and arguing. The game resumed after a 40-minute delay and West Burlington won 12-11.

Cal Bryant is Editor of the Roanoke-Chowan News-Herald and Gates County Index. He can be contacted at or 252-332-7207.