The national football champion…Chowan University

Published 3:34 pm Friday, January 23, 2009

Every year the college football season comes to a close, it never fails that we have some sort of controversy regarding who the “real” national champion should be. This year has certainly been no different.

If you turn on the television or look online you will inevitably find dozens of people debating whether Florida is truly the best team. Should it be Utah who finished the season undefeated and beat a previously top ranked Alabama team in the Sugar Bowl? Some say it’s USC who won the underappreciated Pac-10 and fields arguably the most talented and dangerous team in college football. If you don’t believe me ask OSU or Penn State.

Being a guy that likes to argue I think it’s time I threw my hat in the ring and announced my choice for national champion. Drum roll please……Chowan University.

That’s right, I have chosen the Chowan University Hawks in Murfreesboro as my true choice for national champion. I know what you’re thinking…Chowan finished the season 2-8, there is no way I can convince you that they deserve to be considered number one.

Before you call me crazy, allow me to offer you scientific proof (scientific proof is way better than regular old proof) that they deserve the title.

While surfing the internet the other day I stumbled across a web site ( that uses the transitive property to link multiple schools together. Using their data and the assumption that most people consider Florida our national champion, I can prove that Chowan University is truly the best team in all the land.

In case it’s been a long time since you have heard of the transitive property, let’s get a refresher course. The transitive property basically states that if Team A is better than Team B and Team B is better than Team C than Team A must be better than Team C. We’ll call that transitive property for dummies (I sure hope my former math teachers aren’t reading this).

Are you ready for the proof?

Here it is…try and keep up. Chowan beat Livingstone who beat Johnson C. Smith who beat Edward Waters who beat Savannah St who beat Winston-Salem St who beat Delaware St who beat Florida A&M who beat Tennessee St who beat Eastern Illinois who beat Illinois St who beat Youngstown St who beat North Dakota St who beat Southern Illinois who beat Northern Iowa who beat New Hampshire who beat Army who beat Louisiana Tech who beat Mississippi St who beat Vanderbilt who beat Mississippi who beat Florida.

Whew…that was exhausting I know, just imagine how confusing it was to type. Still, now you have a solid reason to call your hometown Chowan University Hawks the national champions of college football. So next time you see Dr. White or Coach Place on campus be sure to stop them, shake their hand and congratulate them on their obvious success.

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