The end is near

Published 12:00 am Monday, January 28, 2008

WARNING: After consecutive columns by the female members of the newsroom, the following opinion piece is not about Britney Spears.

Based on my vast (okay, I did it online) research of numerous information outlets, the end of time is apparently upon us.

From Texas comes reports from several individuals of a flat, metallic object hovering about 300 feet in the air. Some reported seeing fighter jets chasing the unknown object.

“People wonder what in the world it is because this is the Bible Belt and everyone is afraid it’s the end of times,&uot; Steve Allen, a freight company owner and pilot, told the Stephenville (Texas) Empire-Tribune.

Allen went on to say the object he saw earlier this month was a mile long and half a mile wide.

&uot;It was positively, absolutely nothing from these parts,” he said.

Is this the end of the world as we know it? If not, then Dec. 21, 2012 will be, at least according to those studying ancient Mayan history.

The Mayans were infamous for their mathematical and astrological findings. How they could predict, tens of thousands of years ago, that the end of times would come precisely on Dec. 21, 2012 is way beyond my limited mental capacity.

But yet their prophecy has prompted several scientists and others to research the subject. Those modern-day investigations confirm what the Mayans predicted centuries ago….a cosmic event of historical proportion will occur on 12-21-12.

The Mayan civilization of Central America was and is the most advanced in relation to time-science knowledge. Their main calendar is the most accurate on the planet. It has never erred. They actually have 22 calendars in total, covering the many timing cycles in the Universe and Solar System. Some of these calendars are yet to be revealed.

The Mayan fifth world finished in 1987. The sixth world starts in 2012. So we are currently &uot;between worlds&uot;. This time is called the &uot;Apocalypse&uot; or revealing. This means the real truth will be revealed.

Their calendar calls for the plane of our Solar System to line up exactly with the plane of our Galaxy, the Milky Way. It also calls for the sun, moon and earth to be exactly aligned on 12-21-12. Whether or not that alignment or because it’s the end of the Mayan’s fifth world will cause catastrophic events to unfold is not known.

But what is known is this is the greatest nation in which to live, whether we’re heading for the end of time or not. I mean where else in the entire universe could Bill Clinton receive $12 million for his memoirs while Hillary got $8 million for hers. That’s $20 million for the memories from two people who for eight years repeatedly testified under oath that they couldn’t remember anything.

While on the subject of Hillary, I got an e-mail this week of an interview conducted by former (and maybe soon to be again) “First Daughter” Chelsea Clinton. Chelsea interviewed a United States Marine, asking him what were his greatest fears? The Marine responded, “Osama, Obama and Yo Mama!

In another sign of the end of times, the revered Hershey Company, long a favorite among chocolate and candy lovers, has pulled Ice Breakers off its production line.


Because of criticism that the mint-flavored packs look too much like illegal street drugs.

Ice Breakers Pacs, which first hit store shelves late last year, are nickel-sized dissolvable pouches with a powdered sweetener inside. The pouches come in blue or orange and bear the Ice Breakers logo.

However, police narcotics squads said the mints closely resembled tiny heat-sealed bags used to sell powdered street drugs. They say the consequences could be serious if, for example, a child familiar with the mints found a package of cocaine.

What remains of the Ice Breakers inventory will remain on store shelves until sold. Hershey officials, who said the mints were not intended to resemble anything, has already halted the production of the product.

See ya’ll next week, that is if we’re all still here!