It#8217;s a sad, sad Britney world

Published 12:00 am Saturday, November 17, 2007

Why is it so hard for Britney Spears to drive?

Out of all the things in the world that could possibly complicate life for the pop star like, what kind of designer to wear, to date this bo-hunk over that baldwin or rocket science it’s driving that always seems to bend her brain. Driving, of course, and parking and parenting and heck, just walking.

In her latest run in (literally) with the paparazzi, Britney crunched a cameraman’s foot underneath the wheel of her Mercedes. This is the third time a cameraman’s lower appendage has met this fate.

While I agree having hoards of paparazzi around your car would make it tough for anyone to drive, it doesn’t make up for the fact she’s ran a red light with her children in the backseat and hit a car and then left without notifying the owner.

I believe it’s safe to say she’s a bad driver and there’s a good chance her license was obtained from the bottom of a Cracker Jack Box.

With the entire debacle that’s surrounding Britney lately, everything has been clearly documented from her failed drug tests to her court appearances to her weight (however, this is a cheap shot).

Her public relations team has offered numerous excuses for Britney’s screw-ups, accidents, blunders, gaffes and every other word that describes a train wreck.

Recently, Britney’s people rolled out a list for why she had amphetamines in her bloodstream, which showed up in her last drug test. First it was because she’s on medication for narcolepsy, then it was her medication for asthma and the settled conclusion was it was from her ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder) meds.

Hmm, narcolepsy…maybe she fell asleep during her parenting classes.

Wow, what a mess; a narcoleptic, asthmatic person who also has ADD and owns a Mercedes.

I think Britney’s type of ADD must be contagious since it seems no one can make up their minds as to how to explain the amphetamines.

It will be interesting to see how they explain Britney crashing her car into a Taco Bell in the future.

“They forgot her chalupa…err, she saw her own reflection… she was protesting against border control!”

Yeah, good luck with the latter one, the girl doesn’t know what a sombrero is even when she’s wearing one.

While Britney is an easy target for tabloids, entertainment news and comedians, her whole situation is disturbing.

If she were anyone other than a pop star, Britney probably would be in a rehab somewhere and photogs’ feet all across greater Hollywood would be able to breathe a sigh of relief.

It’s funny how the people around Britney continue to foster her behavior without batting an eyelash. Hey, I guess as long as the check is in the bank on Friday everything is peachy.

When you’re a sinking in Hollywood it’s hard to find a faithful captain that will go down with the boat. So much for loyalty.

Amanda VanDerBroek is a Staff Writer for the Roanoke-Chowan News-Herald. For comments and column suggestions email: or call (252) 332-7209.