How much can one person handle?

Published 12:00 am Wednesday, August 8, 2007

It is in the worst times in our lives that we always hear murmured platitudes meant to make us feel better.

In all actuality, I’m not so sure these things don’t make people feel worse.

When a loved one dies, does anybody really want to hear &uot;it’s for the best,&uot; or &uot;he’s in a better place&uot; or &uot;it’s all part of a bigger plan?&uot;

My personal favorite, though, is when something tragic occurs and people say &uot;God never gives you more than you can handle.&uot;

If that’s true, then why do people commit suicide?

Why do people see therapists or have nervous breakdowns or drink themselves into oblivion?

Is that &uot;handling it?&uot;

I think not.

All my thoughts on were brought about by tragic events in the life of an acquaintance of mine.

Actually, I can’t really call her an acquaintance as I’ve never met her in person.

I do, however, call her an online friend because she is part of my monthly board on an online mom’s community I’m a part of called Babyfit.

I became active on that site while still pregnant with my son, Christopher. When he was born in August of 2006, I started frequenting that monthly board.

In December, tragedy struck one of the moms, a friendly woman named Carmen McCune, from Texas.

Her five-month-old son, Caleb, passed away on Christmas Eve from SIDS (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome).

Last week, she and both of her surviving children were involved in a horrific car accident while visiting family in Arkansas. Jason, 8, and Sarah, 4, are both in critical condition at Little Rock Children’s Hospital.

Jason is in Pediatric ICU, paralyzed from the neck down and is on life support. His sister Sarah is in a private room, but is still in pretty bad shape.

Carmen broke her leg in two different places and needs surgery, but is refusing to get it because it would mean leaving her kids.

I can’t imagine the pain she must be feeling – to still be mourning the loss of your baby and then be faced with the possibility of losing your other two as well.

It’s utterly and completely heartbreaking.

And yet people still say things like &uot;it’ll be okay, you’re never given more than you can handle.&uot;

I just don’t buy it.

Some people might call that a crisis of faith; I just call it seeing it like it is.

My faith is intact; I don’t doubt God because of this, but I do believe that sometimes, for whatever reason, things happen that are beyond what we can handle.

How much can one family go through in such a short period of time? How much is one person expected to endure?

I’ve had events occur in my life that seemed unbearable, but they pale in comparison to the way this mother must be feeling.

My heart goes out to her. Carmen, my thoughts and prayers are with you.

I hope Caleb is looking down from Heaven and watching over his brother and sister.

May God bless you and your two precious children.

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