Blame it on the Twinkies

Published 12:00 am Friday, March 30, 2007

Even though Anna Nicole Smith’s death has been ruled accidental, her former lawyer/companion/lover/baby’s daddy still doesn’t feel vindicated.

He’s now blaming the news media for its scrutiny and laying blame on him for her death.

Of course, this is from a man who ran to the entertainment show “Entertainment Tonight” as soon as Anna’s son died to set up the interview. Howard K. Stern was also used a plane chartered by the show to get back to the Bahamas after the model/actress died in Florida.

I’m not sure if Stern was responsible for Anna’s death as in he straight out killed her.

However, if she did have a drug problem, at the very least as her “friend” he probably should have tried to help her in someway.

Humans are notorious for pointing the finger in the other direction.

We do it all the time to save ourselves from embarrassment, ridicule or any sort of punishment that comes along with responsibility.

If a toddler writes on a wall and then is asked by his or her parents how the markings got there, they’ll gingerly point to their two month old sibling.

It’s something children are known for rather than adults, but the latter often use it more.

We typically lay the blame for mistakes on mundane things like a forgetful mind or a stressful day or the dog.

But we usually don’t blame Twinkies, McDonalds or the news media.

In 1979, Dan White, a former health conscience city supervisor of San Francisco, blamed Twinkies and Coca-Cola for assassinating the mayor and the city supervisor who replaced him.

Yes, a gang of cream filled yellow sponge cakes and cans of Coke walked up and killed two people. Oh, no wait, they’re dead because White consumed the Twinkies and Coke.

It seems the sugary concoction blasted through the health nut’s veins and turned him into a virtual terminator.

Kind of like what happens when Popeye eats his spinach.

Believe it or not the defense worked. White’s charges were lessened to voluntary manslaughter.

The case coined the term “the Twinkie Defense” and ultimately opened the door for others to use ridiculous defenses or reasons for “mistakes.”

In 2003, a judge in New York dismissed a case where two teens were suing McDonald’s for their obesity. Ronald McDonald, who would have guessed he was a predator luring youngsters to the golden arches.

While I agree McDonald’s is not the most nutritional place to eat, why didn’t the parents know what these girls were eating?

One of the fathers said he thought McDonald’s food was healthy for his children because he didn’t know what the food’s ingredients included.

Really? Those fryers that are in sight when you order the food didn’t give you a hint. Nor did the mouthful of grease that you get when you bite into a Big Mac.

You just sat there and said, “Yep, that’s some nutritional food for my kids.”

Celebrities are well known for their finger pointing.

In recent years it seems everything from drug abuse to anorexia has been blamed for actors’ missteps or “accidents.”

Apparently in Hollywood if you’re a racist like Mel Gibson or Michael Richards you can blame it on alcohol abuse or your anger.

If you feel like shaving your head and beating an SUV with an umbrella, like Brittney Spears, you can blame it on alcohol and postpartum depression.

So why do humans try to remain blameless?

I’m sure most psychologists would try to pass it off on narcissism or some other disorder

Perhaps it’s just part of human nature to blame something or somebody else other than themselves.

If there is one primitive trait that humans still share with the animal kingdom it’s self-preservation.

No matter what way we look at it we all are selfish in some way, whether we’re taking the last cookie or blaming someone else for our discrepancies.

The truth hurts, that’s why no one likes it.

But it’s when we refuse to hold ourselves responsible for things we know were wrong, that’s we really show our true person.