‘The Juice’ strikes again

Published 12:00 am Monday, December 4, 2006

Every time I think that I’ve seen it all, something else completely boggles my mind, and reminds me that the apocalypse is certainly nigh.

Rupert Murdoch, head honcho over at FOX Broadcasting, recently pulled his network’s planned airing and sale of the O.J. Simpson interview and subsequent book titled &uot;If I did it, Here’s how it happened&uot;.

The very concept of the book is so absolutely insane that I find it hard to even develop a coherent thought whenever I read it aloud.

Not, &uot;If I did it, here’s how it would’ve happened&uot;, or even &uot;Here’s how I would’ve done it.&uot;

No this knucklehead titled his book &uot;Here’s how it happened&uot;.

This fool was actually going to go on worldwide television and give a fictional confession of the celebrity crime of the century.

I always thought that Simpson was a little smarter than that, not much, but a little smarter.

I do not care how bad of a breakup a couple has, the thought that your ex would be hacked to death in an alley beside their home would be enough to throw any normal person into a state of depression forever.

Not Simpson.

After the infamous not-guilty verdict on the NFL Hall-of-Fame running back in 1995, he promptly consolidated his assets and moved to Florida to enjoy several of the state’s financial shelters that would protect his pension and future earnings from the financial judgment levied on him during his civil trial.

Now I know most black people will tell you that Simpson did not actually commit those murders, most of the time saying that with their fingers crossed behind their back.

I will admit that although there appeared to be mountains of DNA evidence, the Los Angeles Police Department did bungle the case well enough for Simpson to get an acquittal, which speaks volumes about the judicial system.

If you have the money to hire the best attorneys the legal profession has to offer, you can get away with murder; if not, you can do two years for thirty dollars worth of crack.

That is why so many black people were happy about O.J. getting off.

Trust me, most blacks have about as much love for O.J. as they do Michael Jackson.

It’s the old sibling theory; I can fight my brother every day if I feel the need to, but God forbid somebody outside of the family tries it, then I will defend him to the death.

Black people were just happy to see somebody black get away with something in court.

It’s like we all said to the judicial system, &uot;We know he’s guilty, but ya’ll owe us one. In fact ya’ll owe us a couple of million.&uot;

That doesn’t make it right however.

Selling drugs is one thing; murdering two people in cold blood, one of whom is the mother of your children, is another thing altogether.

We’ve all heard the expression &uot;what goes around comes around&uot;.

I’d hate to be O.J. when it comes around.

In other comedy not intended to be comedy, Michael Richards of Seinfeld fame was caught on videotape screaming racial epithets at members of the audience during one of his stand up shows.

I must admit, when I saw the clip of Richards I did not get angry, I was to busy laughing hysterically.

When someone says the things that Richards says in public it’s hard to defend him.

I don’t know that Richards really hates black people, but I do know this, he won’t be getting any invitations for the NAACP image awards.

What I saw was a washed up comedian trying to salvage what’s left of a spiraling career on stage telling bad jokes.

After Richards had endured enough heckling he lashed back, using language that he was sure would upset and offend the audience as much as he felt offended at the time.

Cocaine is a powerful drug.

Was Richards high?

I’d be willing to bet on it.

In fact he was probably high and drunk.

You see the rich and famous don’t have to deal with mandatory sentencing and things that regular people have to deal with.

If Los Angeles police wanted to break up a drug ring, all they have to do is walk into any one of hundreds of bars and restaurants that celebrities frequent in Hollywood and ask where they can score some dope.

It’s really that easy.

Instead they spend weeks, months, even years chasing down kids in the ghetto who don’t sell enough drugs in a week to match what most celebrities go through in one Saturday night on the town.

Once again, it’s a money thing.

So a local drug dealer gets 20 years in prison for selling drugs.

He is convicted after five years of surveillance (five years?!).

But O.J Simpson, Robert Blake, William Shatner and anyone named Kennedy can murder people and go play golf.

Over the

Thanksgiving holiday a 92-year-old woman was shot and killed by police in a no-knock raid in Atlanta, GA.

It’s my understanding the police were trying to serve a warrant for her grandson, and the woman, thinking someone was breaking into her home, fired first.

Nevertheless, they fired over 80 rounds into her and her home.

An unarmed man was killed by police in New York City on his wedding day after police who were supposedly conducting an investigation at a strip club opened fire on him and three of his friends.

One of the survivors was struck 11 times the other three times.

The police say that one of the men was being uncooperative before the shooting started and tried to ram police with his vehicle.

Witness versions differ from the police version.

The Mayor of New York, Michael Bloomberg, said the shooting was excessive.

In total the officers fired a minimum of 50 rounds at three unarmed men.

At least one of the police stopped to reload.

It’s cool, I’m use to it by now, and it’s the country that I live in.

But once again, what goes around…well you know the rest.

So whenever it appears that I’m just a nut-job conjuring up conspiracy theories about race, class and judicial improprieties, just remember Simpson and Richards and watch what ‘comes around’.