Too much hype

Published 12:00 am Thursday, November 3, 2005

Warning: insane ramblings will follow this sentence.

Is it just me, or is the Bertie-Hertford County football game over hyped?

Come on…what’s the big deal? It’s just a game. One team will win, the other will lose. It’s not like it’s the end of the world for the one on the short end of the scoreboard.

For my money, I’d rather take in the Louisburg at Northampton-East game. Nobody is talking about that huge match-up this Friday in Creeksville. If anyone is talking, they will find themselves drowned out by the constant and repetitive hum of Bears and Falcons fans.

Here’s a question that not wagging on the tips of the collective Bertie and Hertford County tongues n why are you guys scared to play Northampton-East? Neither of these Class 3-A heavyweights made any attempt to schedule the Class 1-A Rams this year. As a matter of fact, neither did Gates County. The lone R-C area team on the Rams schedule is Northampton-West and the only reason for that is because they are in the same conference with East.

So go ahead and have your fun on Friday night in Ahoskie. Don’t expect me to lend a sympathetic ear to the fans of the losing team. Why in the heck would I care? I didn’t graduate from either school.

Now that I’ve royally teed off the Bertie and HCHS fans, I guess I’ll pick on a much easier target n the oil companies.

Did anyone find it ironic that on the heels of last week’s announcement by Mobile/Exxon in regards to their tidy profit of $9.9 billion by the end of the third quarter of this year that gas prices at the pump have dropped faster than George W’s approval rating.

In all honesty, I never thought we’d ever see $2.59 per gallon again (the price in Ahoskie on the Saturday before Hurricane Katrina made landfall). As of this writing on Tuesday night, the local price stands at $2.49. Rumors are that it will continue to fall.

Here’s another bizarre, but true, story.

On Tuesday, the United States Senate adjourned into closed session. That’s right n closed session, which means they threw all the news reporters out and discussed an issue in private.

Well, so much for privacy. The session, which lasted two hours, was all about the Democrats attempting to hasten the Republicans along concerning a promised report on allegations that key staff members of the Bush Administration altered documents showing the Iraq was a major threat to national security, thus hastening America’s entry into the war.

The Republicans promised to report back to the Democrats no later than Nov. 14 on the issue. Stay tuned for more details.

Finally, I’ll leave you with some suggestions about how not to stuff yourself this Thanksgiving.

1. Satisfy, don’t stuff.

Don’t fill your belly to the point of pain.

Remember, it takes about 20 minutes for your brain to realize your stomach is full. That’s fine because by that time, I’ll be taking a nap.

2. Decide how much of your favorite food will satisfy you. If you cannot conceive of eating just a small piece of pie, cut something else out to account for the larger slice. Better yet, eat the pie first and then sit down and stuff yourself silly!

3. Don’t starve yourself beforehand.

Eat a good breakfast and consider a snack before heading to the Thanksgiving celebration. Sure, I’ll have a light afternoon snack. Make mine a double cheeseburger and chili-cheese fries.

4. Practice how to say “no” in case you get pressured by well-meaning relatives to eat more than you want.

Try something like, “Thanks, but I’ll have to pass on that pumpkin pie because I’m filled up with your scrumptious turkey.” I’m kidding, of course. Go ahead, take the slice of pie. While you’re at it, take two slices and slip one in your wife’s purse for a snack when you get home.

5. There are more ways to spend time with family on Thanksgiving than just sitting around eating. Okay, there’s not. Just eat, eat and eat some more. When you grow tired of eating, find your way to the couch, tell the kids to be quiet and doze off while watching the Atlanta at Detroit game and wake-up just in time for the start of the Denver at Dallas contest. Just in case, you might want to fix a quick turkey sandwich right before kickoff.