Invisible car?

Published 12:00 am Thursday, May 12, 2005

Sometimes we open our mouths to speak and it just doesn’t come out right. When that happens we laugh at our mistakes and others get a laugh too.

I have done it many times (ask my children who love to catch me in a mistake so they can tease me forever). The Bible tells us that a merry heart is good medicine. I have read doctor’s reports stating that patients with a sense of humor are more likely to survive serious illness than are those who have no sense of humor. I am convinced it is true. Hope you get some healing from these insurance reports.

An insurance company published the following for internal distribution. These reports were submitted when policyholders were asked for a brief statement describing their particular accident. An Ann Landers reader sent them in from Raleigh:

The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intention.

I thought my window was down but found it was up when I put my hand through it.

A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.

The guy was all over the place. I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him.

I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law and headed over the embankment.

The accident occurred when I was attempting to bring my car out of a skid by steering it into the other vehicle.

I was driving my car out of the driveway in the usual manner, when it was struck by the other car in the same place it had been struck several times before.

I was on my way to the doctor’s with rear-end trouble when my universal joint gave way, causing me to have an accident.

As I approached the intersection, a stop sign suddenly appeared in a place where no stop sign had ever appeared before. I was unable to stop in time to avoid the accident.

The telephone pole was approaching fast. I was attempting to swerve out of its path when it struck my front end.

To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front, I struck the pedestrian.

My car was legally parked as it backed into the other vehicle.

An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my vehicle and vanished.

When I saw I could not avoid a collision, I stepped on the gas and crashed into the other car.

The pedestrian had no idea which direction to go, so I ran him over.

I saw the slow-moving, sad-faced old gentleman as he bounced off the hood of my car.

Coming home, I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don’t have.

The indirect cause of this accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth.

Please e-mail me if you have a story to relate. We promise not to use any names if we write it up. I would love to hear from you. I know you have some good stories to tell.