Where’s my razor?

Published 12:00 am Saturday, March 5, 2005

I discovered my favorite razor by accident one morning when the only razor that was available to me was my step dad’s handy dandy double blade Gillette Sensor Excel.

Having repeatedly scalped my shins from buying the cheap brands, this razor was the closest thing to shaving heaven I had ever experienced.

My legs were so smooth it was incredible. There were no nicks or scrapes and no razor burn, just irresistibly silky skin, soft as a baby’s bottom. It was awesome and there was no doubt I was permanently sold on that razor.

Over the years, I began trying other products only to discover the same company manufactured them. Adding to my collection, I began to wonder whether it would be beneficial to add a few shares of the company stock to my list, just so a portion of the money I was spending would yield some positive return in my favor.

Without realizing it, I had become a walking advertisement for their products. Need a tissue? Have a Puff’s Plus, Feeling under the weather? Pop a NyQuil.

Coffee break? Break out the bag of Millstone and don’t forget the Crest whitening strips.

No matter what the need, Proctor and Gamble repeatedly came to my rescue, especially when it came to Tampax. I know you’re probably laughing, but let’s face it, what woman of childbearing age would voluntarily choose the cheap brand of tampons when they have a choice of the real thing? Come on!

I don’t know about you, but my philosophy on Tampax may well have been equivalent to the old American Express card ads, you just don’t leave home without ’em! (Sorry guys!)

Now I’m not one of those addictive prone personalities, but there are some things that if taken away, would surely cause me to go into withdrawal and call me strange, but Gillette Sensor Excel razors, Tampax and Secret deodorant are just a few.

But why share such personal discretions with a whole community of readers when the products are so widely available? Surely, a company that is doing as well as P&G wouldn’t be at risk for going out of business, especially when customers like me have been buying their products for over a decade.

So what’s the problem? Why not just shut up and buy the product if I like it so much? Well, that’s where my dilemma comes in.

Despite the love I have for the company’s products, the love I have for the family goes much deeper. You see recently, I was made aware that the CEO of Procter & Gamble, A.G. Lafley, gave $5,163 in company stock to help homosexual activists repeal a law in Cincinnati that prohibited granting &uot;special rights&uot; to homosexuals.

I also learned that P&G gave $30,000 in corporate funds to help fuel the homosexual political agenda.

Based on those two facts, despite the quality of their products, I simply cannot continue to invest to that end with clear conscience, even if it means experiencing mild trauma from sampling new razors.

Who knows, if enough people catch on, band-aid stocks just might prove lucrative!