I read with much amusement Cal Bryant’s take on the southern lingo this past Tuesday, but was slightly disappointed that my buddy Cal left out so many of our most precious uses of words.

It seems everywhere I go, people ask me what part of the world I reside. Before I can answer, most people will quickly – and most of the time – jokingly respond, &uot;You’re from the south, that’s for sure.&uot;

Well yes I am from the south and darn proud of it.

I personally do not think we have accents. I don’t sound funny when I talk. It’s the folks that are not from around here that sound funny.

Nevertheless, showing that us southerners have a good sense of humor, there are a few phrases, word usages you’ve all heard before that, to many of us, just sound normal.

For instance:

Munts – the twelve divisions of the year. &uot;How many munts ’til Christmas?&uot;

Thank- used as a verb, meaning the ability to process thought. &uot;I thank I’ll have some more taters.&uot;

Hice – pronounced same as nice, replacing the n with an h. &uot;I live in a really nice hice.&uot;

Ignert – used as an adjective, meaning not smart. &uot;I thank that person is ignert.&uot;

Ranch – used as a noun, meaning a tool. &uot;Hey, how ’bout hand me that ranch… make it a sem’ates.&uot;

Sem – the number following six and just before ate.

All – used as a noun, meaning a petroleum-based lubricant. &uot;Hand me that sem’ates so I can put some all in my truck.&uot;

Far – used as a noun and mostly heard toward the southern coast of the state, meaning conflagration. &uot;If I can’t get the all changed in the truck, it’s liable to catch far.&uot;

Grain – used as an adjective, meaning a color. &uot;Don’t ‘cha like the purdy grain grass.&uot;

Purdy – used as an adjective, meaning beautiful. See above.

Tire – used as a noun, meaning a tall monument. &uot;One of these days, I’m gone see the Eiffel Tire.&uot;

Hot – used as a noun, meaning a blood-pumping organ.

Hod – used as an adverb, meaning not easy. &uot;My hot almost stopped ’cause the work was so hod to do.&uot;

Retard – used as a verb, meaning to stop working. &uot;When I reach 65 years of age, I plan to be retard.&uot;

Tarred – used as an adverb, meaning exhausted. &uot;By the time I get home, I am so tarred my hot feels like its gone jump out my chest.&uot;

Rat – used as a noun, meaning to be entitled to power or privileges. &uot;Soon as he turns 18, he’ll have the rat to vote.&uot;

Bag – used as a verb, meaning to ask. &uot;If I don’t get my lowence this week, I’m gone have to bag for money.&uot;

Lowence – used as a noun, meaning something that is given at regular intervals. See above.

Farn – used as an adjective, meaning not local. &uot;I would very much like to visit a farn country some day.&uot;

Yurp – used as a noun, meaning a continent overseas. &uot;When I get rich and can travel to a farn country, I’d like to go somewhere in Yurp.&uot;

Did – adjective, meaning not alive. &uot;The bug is did. I stepped on ’em.&uot;

Ear – used as a noun, meaning an odorless gas. &uot;I love the ear that I breathe.&uot;

Bob War – used as a noun, meaning a sharp, twisted cable. &uot;My grandpa used bob war to keep in his hawgs.&uot;

Hawg – used as a noun, meaning the adult form of a pig. See above.

Heavy Dew – a phrase, meaning to make a request for action. &uot;Can I heavy dew me a favor?&uot;

Gummit – used as a noun, meaning a bureaucratic institution. &uot;If if weren’t for the fed’el gummit we’d all be rich and wouldn’t have to bag for money.&uot;