Hick burger and other odd ball signs

Published 2:47 pm Saturday, July 18, 2009

We’ve all seen those signs that make us laugh, whether it be a billboard promoting an unusual tagline or a marquee sign that’s not quite spelled right.

I recently received an email from a friend who made me think of the time when my family and I saw a sign likewise.

The last time my mom and aunt Dolly visited we took a trip to one of the larger metros in the area. There we were sitting in the middle of traffic and arguing about where we should go shopping. It’s never a real road trip for us until we start arguing.

During a brief silence, I heard my aunt start laughing. She was looking at a Hardees marquee stating: “TRY OUR HICK BURGER.” Sound appetizing?

The restaurant was obviously trying to promote its “thick” burger, but instead seemed to be pitching something else.

A photo later the sign had given us a good laugh and we continued on our way.

The following odd ball signs were included in my friend’s email:

In a podiatrist’s office, “Time wounds all heels.”

At a proctologist’s door, “To expedite your visit, please back in.”

On a plumber’s truck, “We repair what your husband fixed.”

On another plumber’s truck, “Don’t sleep with a drip. Call your plumber.”

On a church’s billboard, “7 days without God makes one weak.”

At a tire shop in Milwaukee, “Invite us to your next blowout.”

At a towing company, “We don’t charge an arm and a leg. We want tows.”

On an electrician’s truck, “Let us remove your shorts.”

In a non-smoking area, “If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action.”

On a maternity room door, “Push. Push. Push.”

At an optometrist’s office, “If you don’t see what you’re looking for, you’ve come to the right place.”

On a taxidermist’s window, “We really know our stuff.”

On a fence: “Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive!”

At a car dealership, “The best way to get back on your feet – miss a car payment.”

Outside a muffler shop: “No appointment necessary. We hear you coming.”

In a veterinarian’s waiting room, “Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!”

At an electric company, “We would be delighted if you send in your payment. However, if you don’t, you will be.”

In a restaurant window, “Don’t stand there and be hungry; come on in and get fed up.”

In the front yard of a funeral home, “Drive carefully. We’ll wait.”

At a propane filling station, “Thank heaven for little grills.”

And don’t forget the sign at a Chicago radiator shop, “Best place in town to take a leak.”

Amanda VanDerBroek is a Staff Writer for the Roanoke-Chowan News-Herald. For comments and column suggestions email: amanda.vanderbroek@r-cnews.com or call (252) 332-7209.