Bleeve I#039;ll have anutta moon pie

Published 12:00 am Thursday, August 4, 2005

I had a recent request from one of my faithful readers (I hope I have more than one) to continue with my series of interesting Southern words.

We Southerners do have a way with our vocabulary. I think we do it on purpose in order to totally confuse our fellow Americans. After all, we don't have a clue at what they are saying, so why not return the favor.

Let's start with something a bit different than promised. These are "You're From North Carolina" if……

You know how to correctly pronounce Conetoe, Topsail and Ahoskie.

Your idea of a traffic jam is 10 cars waiting to pass a tractor.

Your school classes were canceled because deer season arrived.

You've ever had to switch from heat to AC in the same day.

You see people wearing bib overalls at funerals.

You know the difference between a deer dog, a coon dog and a squirrel dog by the way they bark.

You have no trouble correctly spelling words such as Ocracoke, Fuquay-Varina and Chocowinity.

Priming was the first job you ever had.

You took the day off from work to attend Dale Earnhardt's memorial service.

You know that barbecue is a noun, not a verb.

You top off a hot dog with cole slaw.

Now for the really fun stuff ndem dag-gum Southern words. These are courtesy of Patrick Crispen of Alabama and his "Southern Word" website.

Ah-ite (adverb, adjective, or maybe even an interjection). An affirmation; to be in a state of okay-ness; or a request for someone to stop pestering you. Usage: &uot;How ya doin, Bubba?&uot; &uot;Ah-ite.&uot;

Bob war (noun). A sharp, twisted cable. Usage: "Boy, stay away from datder bob war fence."

Bidness (noun). A commercial venture. Usage: "Ah'm gonna get into the moon pie bidness."

Bleeve (verb). To accept as true. Usage: "Ah bleeve I'll have anutta moon pie."

Bottle (noun). A military engagement. Usage: "Ah bleeve da South woulda won the Bottle of Gettysburg if'in Bear Bryant was thar."

Cay-un (noun). A metallic food container. Usage: "Bubba, fetch me datdar cay-un of dat dar potted meat."

Ciril (noun). A breakfast food. Usage: "Ju wont some mo milk with your ciril?"

Coat (noun). A legal gathering. Usage: "All rise, dis coat is now in owduh."

Cow-rees (noun). A measurement of food fat. Usage: "Ah'm on a diet. How many cow-rees in a moon pie?"

Daintz (noun). A rhythmic body movement. Usage: "Dat boy sho can daintz."

Faints (noun). A wire or wooden barrier. Usage: "Boy, dat Sammy Sosa sure did whomp dat ball over the faints.

Fard (verb). Terminated. Usage: "Bubba ain't working hair no mo. He got fard."

Farn (adj.). Not local. Usage: "I cudnt unnerstan a word he sed. He must be from a farn country."

Guff (noun). A deep chasm. Usage: "Dat hurrycain sho did some damage in da Guff of Mexico."

Hire yew (phrase). A question showing concern. Usage: "Hire yew doing?"

Heidi (interjection). To greet. Usage: "Heidi. Hire yew?"

In-tar (adj.). The entire quantity. Usage: "I ate da in-tar box of moon pies."

Jape (noun). A general purpose military-type vehicle. Usage: "Bubba, have ya seen dat new Jape Liberty?"

Kwatta (noun). One-fourth of something. Usage: "Put another kwatta in the juke box."

Laig (noun). A limb or appendage. Usage: "Dat dog bit me in da laig."

Lilac (phase). To tell an untruth. Usage: "That feller means well enough, but he can lilac a dog."

Mayter (noun). A red vegetable. Usage: "Fix me a mayter sanwitch."

Nascar (phase). Appealing to the eye. Usage: "Ya seen dat new Crown Vic? Dat's a nascar."

Paramour (noun). A gas-driven device to cut grass. Usage: "What kind'a deal can ya make me on dat paramour?"

Rice (noun). A contest of speed. Usage: "Y'all going to Talladega to see da rice?"

Sawka (noun). A sport where all but two players cannot touch the ball with their hands. Usage: "Dat ain't football, dat's sawka."

Spald (verb). Flawed or ruined. Usage: "Bubba, you done spald dem kids rotten."

Tuna mint (noun). A contest. Usage: "Y'all gonna go to dat Bass Masters tuna mint."

Uart (noun). To be bound or to oblige. Usage: "Uart to listen to your momma."

Vitamin (phrase). A formal welcome to guests. Usage: "Bubba, jus don't stand der; vitamin."

Wunnern (verb). To be curious. Usage: "With dat kind'a talk, I'm a wunnern where he's from."

Yannah (noun). Title of respect given to members of the bench. Usage: "Yannah, if it pleases the coat."

Yup (phrase). An inquiry into someone's state of consciousness. Usage: "Honey, yup yet?"

Y'all can bleeve dis n I'm outta here for dis week.